爱他，就要嫁给他 | 简·奥斯丁：如何优雅地逼婚！利用碎片时间学英语

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简·奥斯丁：如何优雅地逼婚

How to Force Him/ Her into Marriage in an Elegant Way

Nowadays, discussions about marriage remain heated. While asked whether he would be in favor of homosexuals marriage, Michael Bloomberg, the former New York Mayor, gave his shocking answer: "The heterosexuals should not get married as well." That"s my favorite response.

如今婚姻探讨层出不穷，微信君最喜欢纽约前市长 Michael Bloomberg 被问到是否支持同性结婚时的回答：异性恋也不该结婚。

Marriage is not for everyone. Some of us would like to be in love all the time. They hold a view that accompany someone around adequately embodies his or her ever-lasting romance; while others still want to get married, for holding a view that waiting is oppressive and only bring about aging and a boring life.

婚姻本就不该是所有人的选择。有的人想一直谈恋爱，就说：陪伴，就是最长情的告白。更多人还是想结婚，觉得：等待，才是一生最初的苍老。

Well, no more waiting, no more wasting, or got nothing. Let us read some romantic stories written by Jane Austen, so as to force him/ her into marriage in an elegant way.

好吧，莫等闲，白了少年头，空悲切。让我们一起读读奥斯丁，一起学习如何优雅地逼婚。

Managing a romance is not a haste, either in the conservative British towns in the end of 18th century or in the modernized metropolis of 21st century.

爱情这事急不得，无论是18世纪末处于保守和闭塞状态下的英国乡镇生活还是如今21世纪现代化都市，其世态人情处处相通。

尴尬也许会使对方厌弃

Embarrassment May Cause Rejection

在《傲慢与偏见》第三卷第三章中，伊丽莎白小姐受邀参加聚会，同去的宾利家小姐同样爱慕伊丽莎白心上人达西先生，因此总想在达西面前使伊丽莎白出出丑。

In the chapter three, Volume Ⅲ of the Pride and Prejudice, there"s an impressive episode. Miss Elizabeth was invited to a party. However, Miss Bingley always tried to embarrass her in Mr. Darcy"s presence, for she had an affection for him as well.

宾利小姐一有机会便冷言冷语道：“请问，伊丽莎白小姐，某兵团是不是撤出了梅里顿？这对贵府可是个巨大的损失呀。”虽未明说，但伊丽莎白一听就明白，她指的是威克姆，想起过去与他的一些来往，心里觉得很不是滋味。

Miss Bingley took the first opportunity of saying, with sneering civility: "Pray, Miss Eliza, are not the ----shire militia removed from Meryton? They must be a great loss to your family." Although she did not mention Wickham"s name, but Elizabeth instantly comprehended that he was uppermost in her thoughts; and the various recollections connected with him gave her a moment"s distress.

只见达西涨红了脸，他的妹妹也异常紧张（宾利小姐并不知道达西妹妹想与威克姆私奔的事情）。如果宾利小姐早知道她会给心上人带来这般痛苦，她当然不会如此含沙射影。

While she was thinking, an involuntary glance shewed her Darcy with an heightened complexion, and his sister overcome with confusion, and unable to lift up her eyes (Not a syllable had ever reached Miss Bingley of Miss Darcy"s meditated elopement). Had Miss Bingley known what pain she was then giving her beloved friend, she undoubtedly would have refrained from the hint.

然而，宾利小姐还是想继续使伊丽莎白尴尬，她接着对达西先生说：“我记得你过去说：‘她也算个美人！那我倒情愿把她妈妈称为才女’，不过后来你似乎对伊丽莎白印象好起来了，我想你一度觉得她漂亮。”（伊丽莎白妈妈是公认的缺乏智慧的女人）

While she had merely intended to embarrass Elizabeth, from a determination of making Darcy speak, she continued:" I particularly recollect your saying "She a beauty! -- I should as soon call her mother a wit." But afterwards she seemed to improve on you, and I believe you thought her rather pretty at one time." (Elizabeth"s mother was recognized as an unintelligent woman)

达西忍无可忍回答道：“不过那是我刚认识她的时候，最近，我已经把她看成我所认识的最漂亮的女人。”

"Yes," replied Darcy, who could contain himself no longer, "but that was only when I first knew her, for it is many months since I have considered her as one of the handsomest women of my acquaintance."

宾利小姐机关算尽本想让达西不再眷恋伊丽莎白，然而事与愿违。真是讨足了没趣，她逼着他说的这几句话使得自己受尽痛苦。

The very circumstance which had been designed by Miss Bingley to turn Darcy’s thoughts from Elizabeth, seemed to have fixed them on her more, and more cheerfully. Miss Bingley was left to all the satisfaction of having forced him to say what gave no one any pain but herself.

而在电视剧版中对这个场景改编得更为戏剧性：达西小姐弹钢琴的时候，宾利小姐为了讽刺伊丽莎白提到了威克姆，达西小姐心中一顿，琴声戛然而止，达西先生脸色大变。

The scene is more dramatic in the TV version of Pride and Prejudice: Miss Bingley mentioned Wickham for satirizing Elizabeth when Miss Darcy was playing the piano. Shocked by her words, Miss Darcy stopped playing the piano instantly. And Mr. Darcy changed color immediately. As she pronounced these words, Mr. Darcy changed color.

这时，伊丽莎白迅速的走过去微笑地道歉，她自然地说，是我忘了给你翻琴谱害你不能弹下去，安稳达西小姐的慌张，解决了达西先生的尴尬。

At this moment, Elizabeth quickly walked over and apologized naturally with a smile: "I"m so sorry, I"m neglecting you. How can you play with no one to turn the pages? There, allow me.” These words settled Miss Darcy from fluster, and rescued Mr. Darcy from embarrassment.

那一瞬间达西的表情变化很值得回味，他看着伊丽莎白的眼神，先是充满了赞赏，紧接着，是无与伦比的喜爱。锦上添花固然很美，雪中送炭才最可贵。爱情之中也为真理。

At that moment the expression of Darcy was very memorable, he looked at Elizabeth"s eyes, first full of appreciation, what followed is unparalleled love. The icing on the cake is beautiful indeed, but charcoal in snowy weather is the most valuable, so is it in love.

大方得体，机智有益，是所有人对另一半的梦想，而有可以使对方在窘境中脱离的才情才是最好的相处之道。

Everyone dreams to find a beloved with good manner, wisdom and motivation. However while the best way to get along with your beloved is to holding the talent to get him/her out of a quandary.

矜持

Being reserved

在书中开头，伊丽莎白母亲为了女儿们结下一门满意的亲事，急着让丈夫先去拜访宾利先生（按照习俗，必须由男主人先去拜访，女眷们才可前往结识），他的丈夫不断吐槽他妻子这种不矜持的行为，讽刺说让她直接带女儿去找宾利先生，再带上自己写的对女儿们的推荐信。然而她的母亲再怎么心急也没有在丈夫拜访前去结交。

At the beginning of the story，in order to make her daughters be well married，Elizabeth"s mother hurried her husband into visiting Mr. Bingley (It was a custom that ladies should not visit new neighbors until the men of the house does). Although Mr. Bennet, her husband, kept teasing his wife of being too rash and quipped that she could take her daughters to visit Mr. Bingley with recommendations he wrote himself for the girls, she did not do that before her husband did the visit.

当伊丽莎白参加宾利的舞会时，见到了对她相貌嗤之以鼻的傲慢无礼的达西，由此对达西产生了偏见。渐渐，达西为伊丽莎白的才情、幽默爱上了她。达西第一次的求婚并不成功，让他狼狈不堪。

When she first met Darcy at the ball of the Bingleys, Elizabeth became prejudiced against him for being looked down on her appearance arrogantly by Darcy. Gradually, Darcy fell in love with Elizabeth for her talent and humor. Darcy failed at his first proposal to Elizabeth, which was a severe blow to him.

改变求婚方式

Change the Way You Propose

时隔一段日子，伊丽莎白再次见到达西时，达西改变了，变得待人有礼，不再傲慢，当听说伊丽莎白的妹妹与人私奔后，还给了她妹妹一笔嫁妆，缓解了伊丽莎白家尴尬的处境。

After a few days, when Elizabeth saw Darcy again, he became courteous and pleasant. He even gave her little sister a dowry when he heard that Elizabeth"s sister had eloped with someone, which rid the Bennets of a quandary.

最终，在达西第二次的求婚下答应了他。这样的历经曲折，使他们的感情愈加浓厚，也是今后称心婚姻的基础。

Finally, Elizabeth accepted Darcy’s second proposal. The twists and turns deepened their feelings and reinforced their marriage afterward.

逼婚现场指导

Instructions on a Forced Marriage

之前说过，大方得体，机智有益，是所有人对另一半的梦想，而有可以使对方在窘境中脱离的才情才是最好的相处之道。

As I mentioned above, everyone dreams to find a beloved with good manner, wisdom and motivation. However while the best way to get along with your beloved is to holding the talent to get him/her out of a quandary.

逼婚不成功时，怎样缓解尴尬可以借用《傲慢与偏见》中的一句话：“幸福一经拒绝，就不值得我们再加重视。”

How to avoid embarrassment when you are failed in forcing him/her marry you? As Pride and Prejudice says: "For I have often observed that resignation is never so perfect as when the blessing denied begins to lose somewhat of its value in our estimation."

被逼婚者犹豫时当被逼婚者犹豫不决不愿正面回答时，逼婚者可以对其说：“将感情埋藏得太深有时是件坏事。如果一个人掩饰了对自己所爱之人的感情，她/他也许就失去了得到她/他的机会。”

When he/she seems hesitate to give you a response, you can tell him/her like that: "It is sometimes a disadvantage to be so very guarded. If a woman conceals her affection with the same skill from the object of it, she may lose the opportunity of fixing him."

逼婚结束在大庭广众之下求婚，使对方尴尬了，如果相爱，回去也别争吵，海明威在《永别了，武器》中说过：“相爱的人不该争吵。因为他们只有两个人，与他们作对的是整个世界。他们一发生隔膜，世界就会将其征服。”

After the forcing, once your proposal embarrasses your beloved, don’t fight if you love each other. As Hemingway says in his A Farewell to Arms:

"We won"t fight." "We mustn"t. Because there"s only us two and in the world there"s all the rest of them. If anything comes between us we"re gone and then they have us."

Author | 耳冉 Translator | 徐琼玉

相关阅读

《简·奥斯丁小说全集》

The Complete Novels of Jane Austen

《傲慢与偏见》

Pride and Prejudice

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